The Thing About Carrots
by ominouscloudsofarendelle
Summary: This is my attempt at a Kristanna fic. It is exceptionally silly and lacking in A LOT of things (plot, character development, etc.). Mainly fluff, little substance with a teeny bit of smut. Reviews are welcome!


Anna hadn't slept soundly for weeks. Tonight, as was often the case, she stared up at the vaulted ceilings watching for the soft yellow glow of sunrise to start. She kept thinking of Kristoff and how he looked at her like nothing else in the world existed. Her. Anna.

The idea of love had become the elephant in every room. It floated behind her as she traipsed into the dining hall for breakfast and flitted around her head once she sat down to drink tea and nibble the various pastries at her disposal. She would try to make absent-minded conversation with Elsa about the weather or the cats near the docks but eventually love became an imaginary friend trying desperately to get her attention. Anna was no stranger to imaginary friends – her upbringing necessitated having loads of them. She would sometimes remember them with fond sadness; Ingrid and Andreas and Signe and Sondre. They always laughed at her jokes and appreciated her need to be constantly moving, usually in the direction of the sweets. Love, however, seemed to be poking her in the arm incessantly and rolling its eyes and pulling twisted faces at her. She would dismiss it with a furrow of her brow and a determined pout and go about the rest of her day. Until it crept up on her again.

Anna sometimes caught Elsa staring at her during dinners or when they would settle into the library for one of their chats, and Anna would quickly swipe the corners of her mouth with the back of her hand, assuming food had ended up on her face. Elsa didn't even try to contain her grin as she would pat Anna on the arm and ask her if she wanted another cup of tea. As time went on Anna noticed it seemed to happen more frequently whenever they had carrots, chiding herself for being a sappy idiot as soon as she started grinning at them.

Kristoff was off on a trip to the mountains, harvesting ice, staying in his small log cabin there for a few days. Anna tried not to let her eyes linger in the direction of the Eastern mountains for too long while gazing out her window. She flung open her wardrobe and started rifling through dresses, figuring she may as well wander the hallways and wait for breakfast to be served than stay in bed and overanalyze things.

Anna re-braided her long auburn hair for the eighth time, lost in thought. If even the concept of love if this exhausting, she pondered, actually being in love must be simply debilitating. Anna was still so unsure of love and of herself, despite everything that had happened since Elsa was able to thaw the winter. Despite Olaf's wise words to her that day by the fire. Despite the way that Kristoff's face lit up every time he looked at her. Despite the stampeding reindeer that seemed to fill her stomach when they kissed. She kept telling herself that she was fooled once before, albeit partially out of a desperate need to be loved.

Anna knew these were certainly different feelings to what she felt with Hans. Hans was all grandiose gestures and flattery and façade. Anna had felt a whirlwind of smiles and rosy cheeks with Hans, like she was spinning around an endless ballroom. With Kristoff everything became so much more _real. _Frighteningly so.

At the beginning of their courtship she tried to entertain the folly that she would allow all the gentlemen of Arendelle to vie for her affection. That Kristoff would be one of many suitors presented to her, as a princess. This ridiculous fantasy was mainly born out of fear, as Anna was terrified Kristoff would quickly change his mind once he had to actually date her and see her _all the time._

However whenever the opportunity arose for her to catch the eye of a young nobleman in town, she would do nothing but think of Kristoff. How Kristoff's voice was so much sweeter than this gruff tone assaulting her ears. How Kristoff's frame was so much broader than the wiry mass of limbs gesturing awkwardly in front of her. She would always end up asking them if they knew any ice harvesting news or if they had recently climbed any mountains before giving a half-hearted bow and bounding off toward the castle, leaving them in open-jawed confusion.

* * *

That evening the rain was lashing the windows. Elsa and Anna had retreated to the library with woolen shawls and slippers, Elsa played a short, uplifting melody on her fiddle. Anna tried not to jump out of her skin at every thunderclap.

"Anna-" Elsa began as she laid the gilded porcelain teacup beside her sister, her fiddle now put back in its case in favour of rosehip tea. "How long has it been that you and Kristoff have been uh courting now?"

Anna was so taken aback by such a direct question from Elsa she nearly dropped her teaspoon on her foot instead of into her tea. "Uh. Well I guess. If you mean since we all got back to Arendelle and then with the WHOOSH! Summer again! I suppose um 3 months?" Anna chewed on her bottom lip and focussed her gaze steadily at the loose thread on her shawl, twirling it between her index finger and thumb.

"And you're happy with him?" Elsa peeped softly, tilting her head closer to her sister.

"What? Oh. Well. Kristoff is- I mean he treats me- We get along really-." Anna's nervous laughter bounced off the dusty tomes surrounding them. "Yeah. I like him." Anna half shrugged, half coughed as she brought her teacup to her lips.

"Just like him? Come on, Anna." Elsa was smirking and raising her eyebrows suggestively.

Anna feigned indignation "Elsa! You never hear me interrogating you about YOUR love life! Why wouldn't you extend the same courtesy to your wonderful little sister?"

Elsa chortled, her laughter came so much easier these days. It enveloped Anna in a warm bath of happiness every time she heard it, ecstatic that Elsa felt so carefree with her. "That's because there's nothing to tell, Anna. Stop trying to change the subject!"

"Argh I don't know! It's not like I have a lot of experience with this sort of thing, you know." Anna sighed, her ocean blue eyes pleading with Elsa for a reprieve from this line of questioning. "I mean, my ex-fiancé left me to die and tried to murder you. So, the only way is up, right?" she said snarkily.

"I've seen how he looks at you, Anna. AND how you look at him." Elsa was casually re-shelving books they had flicked through that evening, her tone the slightest bit queenly.

"Wait, what? How do I look at him?" Anna was genuinely eager to hear her sister's observations on the matter as she felt helplessly clueless. She leaned forward, dunking her left braid into her tea accidentally.

"You look at him like someone's just told you you've won a lifetime supply of chocolate." Elsa quipped, her mouth in that half smile that Anna would view with quiet fury because she just seemed to know everything. "Honestly whenever you talk about him or even _think_ about him, your face is the personification of a sunrise, Anna."

"I liked the chocolate metaphor better." Anna said, quietly smiling to herself. Her dripping braid now pooling tea onto her chest.

The two sisters gathered up their cups on a tray for the servants and linked arms to head off toward their rooms.

* * *

Kristoff was starting to get grumpy. He kicked at a patch of dirt with no real purpose behind his actions. He threw his half-eaten jerky into the back of the sleigh and watched it bounce off the bedroll. He'd been on this ice expedition for a mere two days but he already longed to be back in Arendelle. This would be one of the last big trips of the year to ensure the icehouse stockpiles would last through the fall into winter. Elsa had suggested that as ice master he should gather a few men to go with him but Kristoff preferred to work alone. He thought of ice master as a title in name only, although he did appreciate the small air of distinction it provided him. Especially as he was courting a princess. He still could barely wrap his head around the notion of him dating a princess, not to mention one as wonderful as Anna. A very unprincessy princess, he thought grinning.

He grabbed his climbing gear from the sled and stopped to give Sven a quick pat before starting up a steep incline to his left. He wondered if Anna was thinking about him at all. He could picture her laughing and running through the streets of Arendelle, all the townsfolk's eyes on her. I miss her face, Kristoff admitted to himself, reaching for the next rocky platform. His mind was all Anna, all the time these days. For so long it had been just him and Sven and his troll family; he was used to being alone with his thoughts. Now he thought in terms of Anna – how long he would be apart from Anna, how he would need to try his best to be worthy of Anna, how he felt when he was kissing Anna.

Kristoff slipped, banging his knee on the cliff-face and scraping his right palm across icy rock. He muttered curses and pulled his torso level with his left arm. "What the hell just happened?" He exclaimed to the mountain air around him. Sven grunted a response from below. "I know, Sven. I NEVER slip."

He angrily grabbed for rock after rock in front of him, stomping with more and more animosity each step. Slipped! Me, Kristoff! His head was a mass of swirling thoughts. It's not like I've been doing this for 14 years or anything. What changed? His brain chimed in – _Love, you idiot_. Kristoff inhaled sharply and nearly laughed. You were thinking about Anna and got distracted. You're in love. These things happen. He dropped his head into his hand and sighed. Of course. It's bad enough my tongue can't seem to get words out when I look at her but now my mind is stopping my body from working properly?! Love really was a ridiculous comedy of errors.

He reached the summit with his mouth in a firm smile of disbelief, his mood greatly improved.

* * *

Anna was tossing and turning more than usual, she was dreaming of Kristoff. Kristoff with her face in his hands passionately kissing her. Sweat matted her hair against her head, her feet poking out at the end of the bed. She woke up and tossed layers of duvet across the room. Why is it so hot in here? She thought squirming, tugging at her nightshirt. She couldn't remember the details of her dream but the feelings Kristoff seemed to stir up stayed with her.

They had always stopped short of kissing too forcefully, although she would occasionally try to press into his mouth and let her tongue wander. Kristoff would usually reciprocate for a few moments then pull away and try to divert her attention elsewhere. Anna started to imagine what it would be like if Kristoff took charge and just kept kissing her until she couldn't see straight, until his hands were all over her body. She sighed and started mirroring her thoughts, pausing at her breasts. Her hands flickered over her nipples, the laces of her nightshirt already open. She could feel Kristoff's broad chest on her, his arms wrapped around her torso. She began touching herself at the open seam of her undergarments, legs akimbo. Her breathing sped up, her fingers circling her folds frantically, alternating dipping her fingers inside. She imagined digging her fingers into Kristoff's scalp with him clutching onto her thighs, his tongue deep inside her. She came with his name a breathless whisper on her lips, shuddering and arching, her pointed toes stretched beyond the length of the bed.

Anna winced. I really hope that wasn't too loud she feared, having forgotten all composure once submerged in her own pleasure. Well, I'm definitely awake now, she thought, scooping her various duvets from off the floor and balling them into a heap at the foot of the bed. Her eyes drifted to the bedsheet – I guess I'd better toss that in for cleaning too. She involuntarily blushed at her own enthusiasm.

Anna decided to head to the library to find the book on dragons she had read the other day. At the very least maybe one of the etiquette books will put me to sleep, she thought. She pulled on clean undergarments and her favourite gold-trimmed ivory dress, twisting her hair into messy braids and yawning. She crept past Elsa's room and down the corridor, then turned on her heel and headed toward the kitchens. Anna sliced some bread, cheese and smoked fish for a snack, hauling them and a glass of juice into the library on a small tray.

She ran her fingers along the book spines, perched on the tips of her toes and craned her neck. "History of Anatomy" caught her eye and she stretched to reach for it. I wonder if it has any pictures, her eyebrows raised mischievously.

Anna had always been curious about what she could expect if she ever became a bride and certainly didn't want to leave everything a mystery. She knew some of the basics, of course – she couldn't pretend to not have noticed the bulges belonging to the gentlemen she saw at the events in the castle, especially those who wore ill-fitting trousers. In her lessons, she had never heard anything more than there were parts of men and women that interlock.

She turned the pages hoping to see elaborate diagrams of the male anatomy but she found mostly drawings of muscle ligaments and graphic depictions of diseases that caused her to cringe. Finally she reached something of interest and stared quizzically. Is that it? Anna brought the book closer to her face, inspecting the picture carefully. There has to be more to it than that, she thought indignantly. At least, by Kristoff's size there must be more to _his_. Anna stifled a giggle at this thought and continued to pore over the book. She found another diagram depicting a different angle and nodded her approval.

The sun was starting to peek through the curtains and Anna heard the floorboards creak with footsteps outside. Anna shut the book, casting a paranoid glance over her shoulder and tipped it back into its place. "Now where is that etiquette book?" she yawned.

* * *

Anna danced down the hallway, her braids streaming behind her, whipping a second after Anna rounded every corner. Elsa stood in her way, pointedly, arms cautioning Anna to slow down. Anna deftly wrapped an arm around Elsa's waist and spun them both around in an impromptu dance. "Kristoff's back today!"

"Ah, now such exuberance makes sense. For a minute there I thought we were having a feast I wasn't invited to." Elsa said wryly.

Anna paused to stick her tongue out in Elsa's general direction before untangling their arms, her orange head disappearing from view down the corridor.

Her dress was a warm yellow with scalloped detail in crimson, the decorative piping on her bodice swirling into leaves and flowers around the edges. She had braided a yellow ribbon in her hair to match. Anna took the opportunity to twirl as many times as her equilibrium would allow her en route to the stables. Kristoff would often leave his sled nearby and hitch Sven inside its cosy walls. Her face and spirits fell when she saw it was still empty and she resigned herself to sit on the nearby hill and watch the ducks until Kristoff showed up.

* * *

Kristoff unhitched Sven and rubbed a hand over his aching neck. Sven nudged an antler his way to signal he was carrotless. Kristoff rummaged through his rucksack and waved a carrot in front of Sven's nose "Here you go, buddy." Sven offered a slobbery half to Kristoff – "No, you eat the whole thing this time. You deserve it." He chuckled at the reindeer's wagging fluff of a tail and joyous expression before sighing at the dozens of glistening ice blocks he would need to move into the icehouse. Better get this over with, he thought, untying the ropes

Anna had gotten bored with the ducks fairly quickly, giving them a cheery wave as they honked their disproval at her quick departure. She cast a longing look towards the mountains and a faint twinge of worry sparked in her mind. What if he's hurt? What if he fell off a cliff and can't move? Scenarios of increasing horror gnawed at her calm like rats. Then out of the corner of her eye she saw a reindeer antler. _Sven!_ She felt a hum of electricity surge through her as she ran full speed towards the icehouse at the edge of town.

Sven cocked his head to the side and sniffed the air. He hopped and danced when he saw Anna running towards him, giving a snuffle of happiness towards Kristoff who was busy hauling the remaining blocks of ice.

The back of Kristoff's shirt was nearly soaked through with sweat. Aches splintering into the backs of his calves as he stretched. Hurry up, he thought. The faster you finish this the faster you can see Anna. He closed his eyes, imagining the feel of Anna's soft cheek in his hand, the sweet pressure of her lips against his, the little noises of contentment she made. At that moment Anna barrelled full force into his back, tackling him to the ground.

"OW! What the-"

"You're back!" Anna cried, turning Kristoff over and throwing her arms around his neck.

"I should have known to never turn my back on the princess of Arendelle." Kristoff chuckled, inhaling the intoxicating smell of Anna's hair.

"You should have known I would find you, Bjorgman." Anna poked his chest, trying her best attempt at a serious face. Her eyes semi-veiled and her nose in the air.

Kristoff smirked "Is that supposed to be your serious face, Anna?" He laughed silently as she tried to keep her composure, both eventually succumbing to giggling. Anna ran her fingers through Kristoff's hair and leaned closer to kiss him.

Anna's heart felt like it was radiating into every inch of her, down to her toes. A hunger rose in her and she began kissing more and more passionately, pulling at Kristoff's bottom lip and pressing herself against him. She heard him grunt in appreciation, his grip tightening on her back.

Kristoff's head was spinning, he felt as if he was caught in a powerful current being pulled further into the ocean. He could feel Anna's desire awakening his own, his trousers already feeling tight. The rational part of his brain chimed in - You're on the floor of an icehouse. Do you really want it to be here? Anna was practically on top of him, it took all his will to try to shift to the side so his arousal wasn't at the forefront. "Anna-"He gasped between the attack on his mouth "Anna, you're um- Just- I don't want to- You're right on my-"

Kristoff's intelligent thoughts were quickly dissolving into a jumble of adjectives and nouns under Anna's passion as he kept struggling to stop. "Careful- You're right on my carrot!" The words were out of his mouth before his tongue could reel them back in. His brow furrowed at his own ridiculousness, mouth agape, his complexion turning a vibrant apple red.

Anna stopped suddenly and stared at Kristoff's reddening face, her eyes widening. Then seconds after his exclamation, Anna rolled on her back and started laughing hysterically. He had never heard her laugh so full and loud, tears were streaming down her face. He got up slowly, shaking his head.

Anna couldn't stop laughing, it kept bubbling up from within her as she tried to stand up. "I- love- you- so- much!" She blurted between gasps for air, clutching her stomach. She looked momentarily surprised at what had escaped her lips then proceeded to give him a small hopeful smile, her eyes failing to hide small amount of fear behind them. Laughs still threatening to hiccup in her lungs.

Kristoff blinked in disbelief. She loves me? A broad smile spread across his face as he stepped towards her, taking her face in his hands and kissing her. "I love you, Anna." He said when they finally broke apart.

"Oh good! That works out well, then." Relief flooding across her face as she beamed up at him. "Now about this carrot-"


End file.
